Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke is speaking out for the first time about suffering two life-threatening brain aneurysms during her time filming the HBO show.
In an essay published in the New Yorker, Clarke says the first aneurysm happened in 2011 during a workout, right after she wrapped up filming season one of Game of Thrones.
“My trainer had me get into the plank position and I immediately felt as though an elastic band were squeezing my brain. Somehow, almost crawling, I made it to the locker room. I reached the toilet, sank to my knees and proceeded to be violently, voluminously ill. Meanwhile, the pain —shooting, stabbing, constricting pain — was getting worse. At some level, I knew what was happening — my brain was damaged."
Clarke was rushed to the hospital and had to have surgery. Waking up from the surgery, she said the pain was “unbearable”. She later suffered a condition called “aphasia,” which made her temporarily forget her name.
“I’d never experienced fear like that — a sense of doom closing in. I could see my life ahead, and it wasn’t worth living. I am an actor; I need to remember my lines. Now I couldn’t recall my name.”
Clarke admitted, she “asked the medical staff to let me die,” because she was so scared she’d never fully recover. She says season two of Game of Thrones was her worst, and every day she "thought she was going to die."
Two years later, she had a second aneurysm and had to have another surgery done. She stayed in the hospital for a month and suffered “panic attacks” because she was “convinced that I wasn’t going to live.”
She is now healed, and is helping others who have suffered brain aneurysms through a charity called SameYou.